To be insignificant.

At one moment, you can mean the whole world to someone; yet the next, you’re nothing but shit.  

(Source: kushandwizdom)

Cite Arrow reblogged from polelroyd
People who claim that they’re evil are usually no worse than the rest of us… It’s people who claim that they’re good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of.  Gregory MaguireWicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (via mirroir)

(Source: words-and-coffee)

Cite Arrow reblogged from polelroyd
Even though… I’ll do it.

I very much want to say it’s silly, it doesn’t make sense to follow all these rituals, it isn’t me to read something I don’t necessarily believe in; but I’ll do it. If it means so much to you, I’ll do it. Has my growth made me cynical of such standards? That I believe one’s fate should not be determined by the burning of a candle, the timing on the clock or the position where one stands. As much as I know it’s not rational, I’ll do it. “It’s our culture.” That isn’t really convincing me, but I’ll do it. If it’s what you believe in, and if it makes you feel at ease, a certain level of self-fulfilling prophecy ought to follow. Right? So, I’ll do it. 

I am attracted to beautiful things. I am also drawn to things I don’t understand. Perhaps that was how it all started. 

If we are not sadistic creatures, why do we put ourselves through so much pain and torture, knowing that we will get hurt? 

For my faults, in 2009. 

For my faults, in 2009. 

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This is my ah ma and here are some photos I took of her when I accompanied her for a short walk around our neighbourhood.

In the official records ah ma is 83 this year, but actually she’s 79. In those days, it was purposely recorded that she was 4 years older so that she could legally work as an adult despite not being one yet. 

Ah ma will sit at her favourite spot at the void deck for hours. Sometimes I will sit with with her for a while and we will chat. She will share with me stories about her younger days during the Japanese Occupation, how she was a great nanny who helped looked after an angmoh doctor’s family and his four sons, and how different my two cousins are. 

She can be really pai si sometimes and she will make my mother really mad. When I asked her, “Ah ma, why sometimes you purposely want to make mummy angry?” She will reply cheekily in Hokkien, “I just want to ‘poke’ her.” Silly ah ma, I think she probably just needs more entertainment in her life. 

Without my social media

I deactivated my Facebook account yesterday and deleted the app, Instagram and Twitter. I didn’t delete my accounts, just the apps. (Tumblr doesn’t really count cause hardly anyone knows I write here.)

I just got a little sick of the idea of being on Facebook all the time. What I read online being controlled by what others share. Thought Catalogue was also starting to bore me with their “list of xx things” and I needed a break from all these information and connectivity.

So for most of yesterday, my thumbs instinctively scrolled through my phone towards the familiar apps that were replaced by other apps, my mouse arrow instantaneously reached out for the location where the Facebook shortcut button used to be and I had to keep resisting the urge to reinstall my social media apps. Addicted? Yes. Very addicted.

So I decided to do other things instead. I brought my grandmother out for a walk and I started taking photos of her with my still-pretty-brand-new DSLR which I got for my birthday. I watched TV with my mum and I did a few minutes’ worth of transcribing. A pity I didn’t bring my books back, if not I think I would be reading them in bed.

Life seems fine. I feel I have more time for myself. Maybe it’s also because examinations finally ended. Oh ya I’m finally a graduate! (:

Okay that’s all. Let’s see if I can even last a week.